Some Positive Thoughts

Smile Please!

These are some quick one-line thoughts on life that I penned down. Are they philosophical? Sure, you would think it’s all philosophy. But then to me, it’s what I think and what I am trying to practice or incorporate in my life to bring in more positivity.

  1. If your journey is not joyful, the end is never going to be happy.
  2. If you keep waiting for the right time, the right person, the right thing; you’ll be waiting right till the end.
  3. Don’t let your past and future steal your present.
  4. Give your love to everyone and everything around you, but start with yourself first.
  5. Always make time to do what makes you happy, you have to do the rest anyways.
  6. Practice a hobby, a passion such that it has the power to transport you into another world.
  7. Obstacles are just temporary, you are eternal.
  8. Believe in something stronger than you, God, or some higher power. Know that it always has your back. Always.
  9. When in doubt, just do it. You will never know unless you try.
  10. Trust your gut instinct. If it feels right, it probably is.
  11. When in trouble, reach out to people around you. You might find just the right person to help you.
  12. You are bound to make mistakes and it is ok to make them, as long as it helps you grow.
  13. Stop judging people and stop judging yourself.
  14. Avoid doing things which you know will cause you harm or sadness in the end. Why put yourself through hell? Isn’t there already enough around?
  15. You cannot be happy perpetually. But accepting that you are sad is the first step towards happiness.
  16. Smile often even at the strangers, laugh out loud; we all could do with some more reasons to be happy.

Let me know what do you think? Which one resonates the most with you. Or just feel free to add any of your thoughts!

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When life hits you!

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Some people are hurt with others,
Others are hurt with life itself;
When life hits you hard on your head,
Everyone around you is responsible for that!

Someone’s good intention is seen as bad,
To suit the situation in your head;
When life hits you hard on your head,
Everyone around you is responsible for that!

All the good things suddenly seem sad,
The reality seems running away from our grasps;
It makes us so focused on ourselves,
We forget to see the people who try to help!

Little do we realize that this is life itself,
Ups and downs – yes, we have to stand again;
Fight the fear and grab that outstretched hand,
After all, everyone has to die in the end!

So let’s not be hurt with others,
And let not be hurt with life itself;
When life hits you hard on your head,
Remember, someone is standing with an outstretched hand!

The Light Within!

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Quote by Rumi

We are stars wrapped in the skin,
The light we are seeking has always been;
The pain we feel comes from within,
Yet responsible is an external thing.

We are the waves that keep wandering,
Aimless and random out in the ocean large;
Finding our own sun out in the world,
Unaware of the star that we are!

Making our own set of rules to live by,
What a petty thing in front of the universe vast;
Engrossed in our own little world,
Limiting ourselves from the experiences last.

Little do we realize that the universe resides within,
It is me and I am it!
No boundaries can define me,
I am limitless as it is!

Listen to the calling of the inner star,
It’s Polaris – you personal North star;
The guide you are always seeking,
For the heart that’s always weeping!

Don’t Lust, Grow!

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A thousand suns are still insufficient for the insatiable minds.

Isn’t that true? When all we want is more and more, we can never be satisfied. But is it wrong to ask for more? It’s that a way of moving ahead in your life? We don’t want stagnation in our lives. All of us want to grow, be in a better place, have a better life.

So why asking for more is wrong? Or is it?

Getting straight to the point, I think it is not wrong to ask for more. We are all here to experience different thing, to learn, to grow, to mature. So being on a quest for more is normal. But what kills the spirit is while always trying to grow, we forget to enjoy what we have.

Looking at other people’s castles, we cannot stamp on our own houses.

Remember, each one of us has a different journey, a unique one. We meet people on our way. They become our friends, our partners, our supporters, our well-wishers. But all of us have to carve our own growth chart.

Just because Dubai sounds like such an amazing city and she lives in it, I bet, she is living the life to the fullest – enjoying. Oh my God! – she must be so happy there. I too want to go there. Have that life she is living.

Well, Hold your horses. One thing I have realized is – no matter where you stay or what you do, you always have similar struggles to face. Because you are still you. You just cannot run away from problems. They are there for a reason. They want you to learn. They want you to grow. They are your stepping stones to success!

So, growth, to me is internal – where you learn to overcome your problems, expand your mindset, where you grow as a person. Sure, materialism is necessary too. But that will always be overshadowed by personal growth.

So next time, if you see someone’s sparkling dazzling life, calm down. Don’t lust after it. Appreciate what you got. Work towards your goals. Slowly but steadily, you will get what you want.

Remember, in the end, even the waves of the great oceans cannot hasten their pace!

 

It’s All About Relationships

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Ask people “what is life all about?”, and you get so many different answers – it is about finding your purpose, being a good human being, fulfilling your dreams or simply living. Personally, I feel life is all about experiencing both – the good and bad, learning your lessons and evolving.

But here, I want to focus on one particular answer – life is relationships. Yes. We have relationships. Not only with people around us but also with things. My pen, my house, my car, my clothes – don’t we all do that? So logically, if our relationships became better, our life becomes happier.

So to be happy, we need to have our relationships in order. How do we do that?

Let’s divide into gender – Men and Women and understand how they are different and what their needs are. This will help us to understand the people around us better.

Men – In their minds, men have compartments for everything and no two compartments are touching each other. So if they are thinking about sports, only that compartment is open. Rest is tucked away safely. This is why they look confused when women bring up random stuff and you hear – “where did that even come from?”.

When they are upset, they need some time to think alone – that’s when flipping the TV channels without actually seeing anything comes in. Women, don’t disturb them. Give them their alone time to run their thoughts through. When they are ready, they will tell you everything. Hold your horses!

When a man shares his problem, he is looking for a solution. So when two men talk, they actually come to a workable conclusion. And more often than not, you can hear them conclude that “yes, this seems feasible. Let’s try this tomorrow at 6 pm.” You can see the specifics in their conclusions.

Women – Women have kind of web in their minds. One thing always connects to ten different things. Let’s say if she is talking about laundry, suddenly she can jump up to that dress she liked but did not buy and then speaking of buying, oh we need to buy a gift for your parents anniversary. (To men it can feel like absolute random blabbering.)

When a woman is upset, she needs you to listen. She wants you to feel her pain. When she tells you that her colleague said something nasty to her, she needs you to be like “Oh my god! that’s so bad of her to say that to you.” (you can say she kind of needs your approval that it is indeed bad!)

When a woman shares her problem, she is NOT looking for a solution. She already has some sort of solution in the back of her mind. All she is looking for is you to listen patiently! So, listen her out. Make sure she knows that you are actually listening and not just hearing. And don’t offer a solution unless she asks for it! This is also why women are known for gossiping!

Now let’s talk about what each of them is generally looking for. What is that they want from you. Below I am going to post shot bullets in the order of importance:

His needs:

  1. Caring – show him you care
  2. Understanding – try to understand why he is doing what he is doing
  3. Respect – respect him inside out
  4. Devotion – make him your priority
  5. Validation – compliment him for things he does
  6. Reassurance – reassure that he is right and you are there for him

Remember guys, think that they are in charge of taking care of the family needs – monetary and physically. So tell him what a fabulous job he is doing. Tell him often!

Her needs:

  1. Trust – you have to trust her absolutely and completely
  2. Acceptance – accept her as she is
  3. Appreciation – small genuine compliments can go a long way
  4. Admiration –  admire her in front of your family and friends
  5. Approval – approve what she does or says (sometimes even if it sounds super crazy)
  6. Encouragement – encourage her to be a better version of herself every day!

Remember, women need you to approve of her they way she wants (she sure has something in mind). Do that. Show her how much you adore her!

So, these are simple few things how you can improve your relationships. They can apply to your relationship with your spouses, mom dad or your siblings, friends or at work.

Let me know in the comments below what do you think of this and if you have any other suggestions!

Live a happy life!

PS: I know this post might sound more like an instruction manual. But I really wanted to spread what I have learned through the Oneness University sessions in the hopes of making a positive impact in your lives.

Break That Pattern – Part 2

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Like I said in the previous post, we all have a pattern which we follow subconsciously. Some of them make us happy, but most of us are struggling with the wrong ones. Luckily, there are simple steps to break the pattern. All you need is the willingness to follow.

The very first step to break the pattern is to recognize one! It’s that obvious. I know. But the issue is how do you do that? I mean I don’t even know if I have a pattern. Isn’t it a subconscious thing? Hold on. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are thinking why me always? Or why am I always stuck in this situation? Or simply being late every single time. Yes. These are the indicators of your patterns. It’s that simple. Some situation you find yourself repeatedly in. Recognize them.

The second step is to do some soul searching – well not in the literal sense. But just remember why were you late last time? What was in your mind that you were thinking? Or what did you do that made you end up in that situation again? Just go back in rewind – the exact things you did. Every time. think over it. If it’s easy for you, I suggest taking a pen and paper and write them down. Each damn action that you did when you have been in situations like these. Remember this is very critical. And It is not that easy to notice since we are full of biases. But try. Also, try to make sense why we did what we did. This is the crux of this step. To know where our thoughts and actions are rooted in.

To give you some examples, it can be simple things from the past. Like, we think our parents didn’t care enough for us. Or while growing up, something happened which makes us behave this way. More often than not, the roots are always things that have happened in our childhood. Try to figure that out.

The third step is to be willing to break the pattern. This is very important. If you are not ready for it yet, nothing you do will have any effect and you end up in one of those situations where you will be like – I am destined to be doomed. Nothing I do works. Let me just go back to pitying myself. So, having that intent is super important. Let’s just sit down for a min. Leave everything out. Just think of all the reasons you want to do it – You want to be happy, you want to be free, you want to be able to have that amazing relationship – it can be anything.

The fourth step is linked with the soul-searching we in step two. Once, we have found out the reason why we keep repeating the pattern and now that we have the intent to break them, we must be aware of the situation when it presents itself again. In your mind, recognize that it is happening again. I am at that point where I always behave this way. Just know its time for step five.

The fifth step is making a different choice now. One different than what we always choose. Agreed, this is scary, we aren’t sure if it is a good decision or no. Agreed, we are more comfortable in choosing what we always did, and you might have the temptation of going back to what you always did. But wait. This is where you require your strong intent. Stop and do something different this time. Like it is said – you must do something different to get different results. Remember, we are doing this so that we are not stuck in the same situation again. Don’t give up. Hang on. You are almost there.

And finally, having done things differently, you broke the pattern. Rejoice. You will be able to see the difference. You will be happier – experiencing something new which you haven’t done before. And the best part – You have not stuck in that situation again. Voila!

Quick Recap:

  1. Recognize – Again? or why me?
  2. Soul Searching – Go rewind
  3. Intent – Hell, yes, I want to do this!
  4. Be Aware – Oh, that’s happening again.
  5. Consciously not taking the same step – Choosing to do something else
  6. Break that pattern – Woohoo!! You just did it!

Well, even though I agree, it’s easy to write than actually do it. But trust me – if you can get through this once, it will become easier and easier to break other patterns – you will be more confident and start viewing it as your game instead of the tedious holding yourself back thing.

So, guys – Break that pattern and be free! Remember – Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Break That Pattern – Part 1

Change

Today I want to tell you a story – Story of a girl who was beautiful, strong, talented and Miss perfectionist!

She was 14 years old. Always a topper in the class. Any extra-curricular activity and she was the first to participate. The ideal student. All the teachers loved her. One would think she will grow into someone talented and successful women.

But only little did they know what the fate has.

At home, she had to look after all her siblings – cook, clean and is only then allowed to go to school. Any small mistake, and she was blamed, humiliated. Always made to feel that it was her fault. She was responsible for the whole household chores from that tiny age.

Imagine the age when we all are studying, throwing tantrums, playing, getting things we wanted and she was there at home working and making sure she doesn’t get scolded.

To make matters worse, she wasn’t allowed to attend college citing that no need to study. Sit at home and look after your brothers and sisters. And finally, when the time came, she was married off to some guy who she didn’t even like. She protested. But all she heard was – this is it. You have no other option.

Well, let’s just say that guy turned out to be an asshole. Doing things he liked and when pointed out, the blame automatically went to his wife. And the bigger point was people actually believed. Yeah – She is the one who wants all that, she is the one who made him do. She was too scared to fight back and endured all in silence.

Little by little her confidence was chipped away. All her self-respect lost. All she had was self-doubt.

Imagine – all her dreams, her abilities, her talents – all washed away.

To this date, if something happens – It might just not be her fault at all – in no way and yet she automatically starts taking the blame on herself. Getting angry about things which don’t matter. Fed up of everyone constantly blaming her for everything.

Sometimes you’d be surprised – where the hell did that come from? I never did blame her for anything. But you don’t realize what’s the back story is.

Well, we all do have similar traits, some patterns which we assume automatically – it can be anything – taking blames, fear of loss, running away or simply being always late! Sure it is said history repeats itself – but let circumstances define that – not you.

A lot of us just assume things in our mind rather than seeking the truth. Making our own conclusions. Living in that same bubble. I’d really say – stop and think. Seek the truth – and who knows you might just be completely wrong!

The good times are out there – waiting for you if only you let go!

PS: Wait for the next post to know how to break free!