Weeding your subconscious

Every incident matters. It leaves an everlasting trace on you. No matter how small, and no matter how insignificant. You are changing every single minute. Each encounter leaves an impact on you.

You are nothing but a collection of events since birth and beyond.

Every event that happened to you has shaped you in some way or the other. Some things leave a profound impact on you, others, subtle. Do not underestimate the subtle influences, they tend to seep into your subconscious without a sound. They stay there and start growing roots, etching themselves firmly, difficult to remove.

How you behave in each situation depends on these past experiences. It depends on what you saw, what you heard, what you felt, what you tasted, how you were encouraged, all the senses together. And these form a pattern. These patterns become you, defines your personality.

Oh, she is always over-caring, fussing over like a parent. Yeah. Right. Because either she has experienced the same from someone in the past and does not know how not to do it or knows the lack of it and does not want you to go through the same.

That is why it is always said, the children learn more a lot from their parents. And truly, whatever we learn, feel, hear in childhood makes a lifelong impact on us. It makes us who we are today, how we react to different situations.

A person who knows only cruelty, will be cruel. A person who knows only abandonment, will run away from people. A person who knows only violence, will be violent. So, it is on us to show them there’s alternatives. It might be difficult to remove the deeply etched weeds from their subconscious. But at least we know they need help.

Even with ourselves, we can consciously identify these traits and find their
roots. Once we know from where it stems, we can actively work to remove them from our subconscious.

Stop Judging…. Yourself!

“Oh, it’s not really his fault”, “It’s ok buddy no worries” or “That’s alright. I completely understand why you did what you did”.

We all have said this to a lot of people. We all have forgiven other people for their mistakes, for the hurt that they have caused us. We always give other people a second chance, no matter how badly they screw up.

“Hey, you are strong enough to face this!”, “It wasn’t really your fault” or “Don’t beat yourself up so much.”

We always give such encouraging advice to others. We always try to boost their morale. We always try to make people see that they aren’t really as bad as they think they are!

But what happens to all these talks when it come to ourselves?

“Oh, I am not really that person!”, “How could I have ever done/said that?” or “I can never forgive myself for this!”

How many of us hold on to our own mistakes? How many of us still ponder on all the wrongs we think we have done? How many of us still beat ourselves every waking hour thinking we are no good?

Wake up! It’s time!

It’s time to stop beating ourselves up. It’s ok if in past we couldn’t meet the standards of who we think we are. It’s ok if we messed things us. Stop judging yourself.

Only God is perfect. And you are only Human! You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to mess up things. This is how you learn!

The important thing is “what next?”. The important thing is to focus on what’s coming. Remember, the present-you is the result of what you did in the past. So the future-you will be what you do now!

So, stop running back to the mistakes and criticizing yourself. It’s time to take the corrective actions. To make the real difference.

Start by forgiving yourself, accepting yourself for who you are – this will make you feel so much light and remove all the guilt that you have been carrying around. It is the first step for changing yourself for the better. Own up your mistakes. Learn from them. Be proud of them.

Take care of your self. Take time out for things that makes you happy. Make yourself the priority. Learn to say no. Start talking to yourself, forgiving yourself and encouraging yourself like you do for others.

Put yourself first! It’s not mean. It’s not selfish. It’s called self-love. And it is the single most important thing you should really invest in. This is how you heal. And healing is necessary!

Remember, if judging others is offensive, then judging yourself is downright criminal!