Weeding your subconscious

Every incident matters. It leaves an everlasting trace on you. No matter how small, and no matter how insignificant. You are changing every single minute. Each encounter leaves an impact on you.

You are nothing but a collection of events since birth and beyond.

Every event that happened to you has shaped you in some way or the other. Some things leave a profound impact on you, others, subtle. Do not underestimate the subtle influences, they tend to seep into your subconscious without a sound. They stay there and start growing roots, etching themselves firmly, difficult to remove.

How you behave in each situation depends on these past experiences. It depends on what you saw, what you heard, what you felt, what you tasted, how you were encouraged, all the senses together. And these form a pattern. These patterns become you, defines your personality.

Oh, she is always over-caring, fussing over like a parent. Yeah. Right. Because either she has experienced the same from someone in the past and does not know how not to do it or knows the lack of it and does not want you to go through the same.

That is why it is always said, the children learn more a lot from their parents. And truly, whatever we learn, feel, hear in childhood makes a lifelong impact on us. It makes us who we are today, how we react to different situations.

A person who knows only cruelty, will be cruel. A person who knows only abandonment, will run away from people. A person who knows only violence, will be violent. So, it is on us to show them there’s alternatives. It might be difficult to remove the deeply etched weeds from their subconscious. But at least we know they need help.

Even with ourselves, we can consciously identify these traits and find their
roots. Once we know from where it stems, we can actively work to remove them from our subconscious.

You are what you give away

We all have judged someone one time or the other. Oh, she is good. Yeah, He’s snazzy. Well, I wish he were more intelligent. And we all subconsciously continue to do so.

But have we ever though what kind of person we are? No, really? Have we ever? I am sure a lot of us think we are such a good person and what we do is always right. And we can never find faults in ourselves.

The whole world is full of faults, except us! Oh, the ego!

Have you ever given it a moment’s thought, who we really are? We do want all good things for ourselves. Even with the people we love, there is always an opinion of what is right and what is wrong. But do we know what kind of person we really are?

Well, if you are even slightly curious to know more about yourself, it is a very simple yet powerful way. All you need to do is keep an open mind.

You are what you give away.

Observe your first thought you have when you look at a person, or a thing. Is it good? Is it bad? Do you think the person is too lazy? Or is he too dumb? Do you consider yourself smarter than him? Are you really smarter than him? Well, your ego definitely says that! But the reality is lost in the veil of your ego.

All day observe the kind of thoughts you have for different things. If you want, you can write them down in a journal and analyze them. Specially the thoughts that you do not speak out loud are a reflection of your true self.

So if you are giving away judgments, you are judgmental. If you are giving away anger, you are an angry person. If you are giving away happiness, you are a happy person. If you are giving away sleazy comments, you are sleazy.

Always remember, you can only recognize those things or feelings in other person, if you possess those. A truly honest man never thinks anyone else is dishonest. Similarly, a thief always thinks everyone else is here to steal.

It is ok to find out that you are not the person you really thought you are. At least you recognize yourself now and know where you need to work. You are what your experiences made you. And so are the others. So, stop judging people based on your experiences. Let them deal with things based on theirs.

Be kind, be forgiving, be open minded.
Remember at the end we all are just humans.

Are you just an option?

You feel special, you feel adored,
Absolutely cared for,
Spoiled to the core.
Your every word is heard,
Your every emotion explored.
Happy happy little birdie,
In their presence, you soar.
Yet something keeps nagging,
Something doesn’t seem right.
There are times when you feel,
Completely ignored.
All the limelight, and all the focus,
Once uphill, all go down the road.
They call you and talk,
But only when they want.
In their times of need,
You are their clipboard.
For other times, well,
You are just floored.
A hundred excuses,
And a thousand lies,
Some, you can identify,
Others hit bullseye.
Yet you keep returning,
Hoping to go back,
Once again to feel wanted,
Back to being their priority.
Only little do you know,
For them, its dusted and done,
Well, you are just a break,
An option to have all the fun!

Maybe this is you

Being hurt by people is inevitable.
Being hurt by yourself is worst.
Those broken promises leave you doubtful.
You surround yourself with walls.
You become too afraid to be vulnerable.
You become more comfortable with distancing yourself.
You create new hobbies and engage your mind.
You laugh and dance. Meditate and travel.
Once in a while you feel lonely.
But you think you are healing.
You think you are getting stronger.
You think you can handle yourself better.
And there comes a time where it all comes crashing down.
The realization strikes you.
You haven’t even progressed a bit, just side stepped it.
You still have difficulties trusting.
Anxiety sets in. And out comes the panic.
You doubt again and try to run away.
No matter what you do, it doesn’t go away.
You finally realize the only solution is the way through.
Scary it might be, it needs a lot of courage.
So drop your guard and be vulnerable.
Maybe you don’t need to fight so hard.
Maybe its time to tear down those walls.
The mighty fort needs to be reopened.
Maybe you are holding off the better things as well.
Maybe you need to relax, let your hair down.
Let the wind blow those soft curls.
Maybe you need to start with trust.
Maybe you need to start with trusting yourself.
Maybe you need to let go of the grudges.
Maybe just live in the moment.
Maybe you will enjoy this change.
Maybe you are finally healing.
Maybe it’s a new start.

The fear of the unknown

The unknown grabs me
twists my guts
and turns them around.
Not knowing the outcome
locks me to the ground.

It grapples me
to the hooks of routine
accepting what is
for the ordinary thing.

It makes me want to stay
where I should be leaving
and be afraid of doing
what might be the right thing.

It ties me down
in my very place
unable to move
and unable to cave.

I complain and complain
of all the unjust and not fairs;
yet I am unable to break
the chains and burdens that I bear.

I blame the circumstances
and all the people around me;
But what I fail to see is
I am used to this routine!

The unpredictable unknown
asks for strength and trust.
To break the patterns
this is a must.

Knowing this very well
that embracing unknown
is how I will grow and evolve.
Yet, the comfort of routine
is where I always fall!

Blame game

“You always blame me for what happened”; “Why am I always responsible for anything that goes wrong?”

If this is what something you keep telling or wondering, chances are you are the one blaming yourself rather than others around you. You need to recognize the pattern of automatically holding yourself responsible for everything around you.

Let it go. Even if you think you are responsible. Forgive yourself before you forgive others. Realize that it is not you who decides how things go – not just in your life, but in everyone’s life. So if something went wrong, accept it. This is life. Not everything goes right all the time. Moreover, right and wrong are just perspectives.

Even if someone tells you, you are responsible, realize that they are just projecting their hurt on you – which you do not have to take! Don’t be a sponge! Don’t soak in everyone’s emotional shit. Recognize that the other person is going through some hard time and is having a difficult time keeping his emotions in check. Don’t take it in.

Stop victimizing yourself. You are strong. Stop always telling – “why do bad things happen to me?” or “why don’t things move for me?” It is this attitude that makes things seem worse. Just enjoy where you are now. Realize that nothing stays forever. Count your blessings. Do something new. Go out. have fun. Remember it’s never too late. Age is just a number!

Things are meant to be

If things are meant to be,
Nothing you do matters;
However unlikely they seem,
Even if they are in tatters.

All the obstacles you counted,
And all the negatives you saw;
There’s always a way that works,
That’s the goddamn law!

If people are meant to be together,
They will end up so;
All they must do is trust,
And just go with the flow.

Be positive in the heart,
And see the world change;
Well, it’s just a start,
Your journey has just begun.

Everything will fall into place,
Every piece and every trace;
All you need is a little trust,
And believe in yourself, you must!

Friends

They put you down,
They lift you up;
They turn you around,
And make you a clown.

They embarrass you,
And put you in trouble;
Make fun of you,
And burst your little bubble.

They make you laugh,
They make you cry;
They understand your heart,
Even when your eyes are dry.

They support you,
Through thick and thin;
And have your back;
Even when you are on a spin.

Such friends are rare in life,
Treasure them through all the fights;
But always keeping irritating them,
Hell ya! That’s your birth right!

It’s a new day

A new day, a new beginning;
A new way to live.
A new sway, A new start;
Another chance to give!

Let today be the tomorrow;
Which never really arrives.
It’s the time to do;
To transform our lives!

Get up and go to the gym;
Do that work pending since.
Start something that makes you keen;
Let’s just redefine our routines!

Today, make a clean start;
To continue might be a task.
But let’s not fall back into the trap;
And not go back to all that crap!

Ego

If you can see someone’s ego, rest assured that it’s your ego seeing it!